Connection
Days 21 - 30
Days 21 - 30
Relational Energy: The Power of Co-Regulation
Now your reflection turns outward—into your relationships. You’ll begin to notice how your nervous system responds to others, and how their energy influences you. This is the practice of co-regulation: creating emotional safety, clarity in communication, and grounded presence with the people around you. Through daily observation and reflection, you’ll gain insight into the relational patterns that help you grow—and the ones that keep you stuck. This is how we create safe spaces where trust builds, connection deepens, and growth multiplies.
Imagine tossing a pebble into still water. The ripples affect everything around them. Our energy, tone, and nervous system state are like those ripples—they extend into our relationships and environments.
In this stage, you're learning to observe the ripples you create, redirect them if needed, and gently respond to those created by others. Healthy connection starts when you know your own ripple effect.
Our nervous systems attune and respond to the people around us, this is co-regulation. Learning to recognize these dynamics builds psychological safety in both personal and professional spaces.
By this point, you've begun to regulate yourself and shape your environment—but your nervous system is still deeply influenced by others and the spaces you inhabit.
Creating the Conditions to Thrive with Core Practices for Noticing and Observing
These practices help you become more aware of the energy, needs, and patterns within your relationships, starting with your own. Read slowly. Try one or two each day and notice the ripple effect.
Notice the Energy of Others:
Are they calm, rushed, or overwhelmed? How does their state affect yours? Begin to name this.
Check Your Story:
When someone else's behavior triggers you, ask, “What’s the story I’m telling myself?” Often, it's not the full picture.
Create Relational Safety:
Before difficult conversations, get grounded. Communicate what you want and need, clearly and kindly.
Use “I” Language in Conflict:
Say “I feel…” instead of “You always…” to keep the conversation safe and productive.
Practice Curiosity:
Instead of reacting, ask questions. “What’s going on for you today?” is more powerful than assumptions.
Mirror Neurons & Eye Contact:
Safe, steady eye contact with someone calm can help regulate your nervous system.
Co-regulation Tools:
Sitting side by side, breathing together, or walking and talking can shift a tense dynamic.
Daily Check-In Practice:
Choose one relationship each day to reflect on. What worked? What didn’t? What ripple did you send?
Journal Prompts for Reflection
Take a few moments at the end of each day to reflect on the energy exchanged in your interactions and make notes in your journal.
These prompts will help you notice patterns, deepen awareness, and build emotional safety and connection.
✏️ Which interactions felt safe, calming, or energizing?
What was it about those moments or people that supported your nervous system?
✏️ Which relationships or conversations felt activating, tense, or draining?
Can you identify what triggered your nervous system?
✏️ What story did I tell myself about a specific interaction this week?
Was it true? Did I have the whole picture?
✏️ Where did I communicate clearly and compassionately?
Note when you expressed a need, held a boundary, or used "I" statements well.
✏️ Where could I have practiced more curiosity instead of assumption or defense?
What might I try next time?
✏️ What's one relational rhythm I want to adjust or protect next week?
This could be more space, more presence, or more intention with someone important to you.
Days 31 to 40
Days 31 to 40
Focus: Co-Regulation and Designing a Life That Supports Rhythm
"Like ripples become waves, our relational dynamics begin to shape the rhythm of our lives."
Living by Your Inner Tides
Your nervous system has a rhythm—an ebb and flow, just like the tides. This connection phase is about learning to ride those waves rather than resist them.
When you begin to schedule your life around your natural energy, needs, and nervous system cues, you create sustainable momentum.
Rhythm isn’t rigid. It’s responsive.
This phase teaches you how to honor your pace, protect your peace, and plan around what matters most.
And it all starts with your Daily Stillness Practice.
That 10-minute commitment each morning isn’t just a warm-up—it’s the anchor. Stillness is what allows you to notice your rhythm, rather than force a pace that doesn’t fit. Over time, you may even find yourself increasing the time because of the clarity, calm, and connection it brings.
Why It Matters
You’ve learned how to regulate yourself, shape your environment, and connect with others in ways that foster safety. Now, it’s time to integrate those insights into how you design your time, commitments, and routines.
Nervous system health isn’t just about reacting to stress in the moment—it’s about anticipating what you need to stay aligned.
When your days reflect your natural rhythm and capacity, you prevent burnout and move through life with more ease, clarity, and impact.
This is how we create the conditions to thrive.
Creating the Conditions to Thrive with Core Practices for Nervous System-Aligned Living
As you move into designing a life that supports rhythm and regulation, these practices help you build sustainable ways of living and working—rooted in the health of your nervous system. This is about creating the conditions to thrive, not just survive.
These aren’t typical productivity hacks. They’re intentional habits that support clarity, capacity, and ease. Begin by integrating one or two that resonate most with you, and notice the impact over time.
Calendar with Capacity in Mind
Plan your weeks not just for productivity, but for nervous system sustainability. Instead of filling every available slot, ask: Do I have the capacity for this? Build your calendar around what restores you—not just what demands your attention.
Schedule High-Stakes Work Around Regulation
Pay attention to the times of day you feel most grounded and clear. Schedule emotionally charged conversations or important decision-making during those windows. Don’t ask your nervous system to perform under stress—it’s not designed for that.
Pre-Plan Recovery Time
Block out time to decompress after demanding activities—whether socializing, conflict resolution, or major deadlines. These intentional pauses allow your system to reset and recover, which prevents exhaustion and enhances clarity.
Build in Breaks
Short, intentional breaks throughout the day can shift your state dramatically. Whether it's stepping outside, deep breathing, or simply doing nothing for a few minutes—these micro-resets help regulate your system and restore energy.
Anchor Practices
Identify one simple grounding ritual for morning, midday, and evening. This could be a breath practice, a cup of tea, a walk, or lighting a candle. Repetition creates rhythm, and rhythm builds trust in your internal world.
Prioritize What Truly Matters
Start viewing your to-do list through the lens of energy, not just urgency. What actually matters to your growth, health, and values? Organize your time around the things that bring life—not just the things that yell the loudest.
Track the Wins
Begin documenting moments when you honored your rhythm and felt the reward. Did you say no when you normally would have said yes? Did you build in space and feel more present? Tracking these shifts reinforces trust in your new way of living.
Journal Prompts for End of Day Reflection
Reviewing Your Week Through the Lens of Energy, Alignment, and Sustainability
Your nervous system has a rhythm—an ebb and flow. The goal isn’t to control it, but to collaborate with it.
Use these prompts weekly to reflect on how your energy was spent, how you honored your needs, and how you might adjust to support your rhythm going forward.
✏️ What felt aligned this week?
Think about moments when you were in rhythm—things flowed, your energy felt good, and you were present.
✏️ What felt off?
Identify when your nervous system felt taxed, rushed, drained, or overwhelmed. What caused the disruption?
✏️ What do I need more of next week?
Stillness, creative time, boundaries, sleep, movement, etc.
✏️ What will I release to protect my rhythm?
Unnecessary obligations, perfectionism, over-giving, or over-scheduling.
✏️ Where did I honor my nervous system well?
Celebrate the moments you paused, said no, or chose rest over hustle.
✏️ What’s one small shift I’ll make next week to support my rhythm?
Make it doable. Think habits, not overhauls.
Coaching Session
Pre-Work for 1:1 Coaching Session
The last 40 days have been about returning home to yourself by regulating your nervous system and creating the conditions to thrive. These practices aren’t just warm-ups to the important stuff; they’re essential, and ongoing. Why?
Because reflection and regulation aren’t passive, they’re protective.
They guard your most valuable asset: YOU.
You’ve been cultivating safety, clarity, and alignment; now you’re ready to move from inner knowing to outward impact. With your foundation strong, it’s time to claim your value and step boldly into where your presence matters most.
Reflection: You’ve Been Building the Foundation
Over the last two sections, you’ve been doing deep work—reflecting on your experiences, honoring your emotions, and beginning to reconnect with your truest self. You’ve started noticing your inner signals and understanding what your nervous system needs to feel safe and strong. That reflection work has been essential, not just for healing, but for remembering who you are.
This is how we protect the asset.
This is how we stand tall in our story.
Connection: Creating the Conditions to Thrive
Now, you’re not just surviving or striving, you’re learning what it means to thrive. You’ve started to name the people, places, and patterns that regulate and support you. That’s co-regulation. That’s connection. And it's what makes space for your real identity to emerge—not the one shaped by performance, pressure, or people-pleasing, but the one formed by God, infused with purpose.
When you’re connected, you don’t have to hustle for worth, you begin to remember:
You are the asset.
The Shift: From Proving to Presence
In this session, we begin to name your gifts and talents. Not the ones you’ve been praised for. The ones that have always been there. The ones God designed in you from the beginning.
This is the move from proving to presence.
Because every thought comes from either love or fear.
When you fall in love with your story and deeply appreciate how you’ve been designed, you stop chasing validation and start living with authentic authority.
Humble Authority: The Energy You Carry
When you know who you are, you don’t have to force or perform. You lead with quiet strength. You bring safety into the room. You show up in your home, work, and life with a calm, steady presence that invites others to do the same.
This is humble leadership—not because you shrink, but because you’re rooted.
You’re not trying to be the loudest in the room.
You’re simply unshakable in your identity. And that changes everything.
Your Next Practice
We’ll dig deep into your gifts, talents, and patterns in the next coaching session.
Get started with these questions, answering in your journal. We’ll discuss this more in our coaching session.
This is the doorway to owning your Value, Relevance, and Impact.
It’s time to see your story not as a resume, but as a revelation.
You’re not becoming someone else.
You’re becoming more of you.
And that’s more than enough.
L - Learned
What have you learned throughout your career and life? Let this be a stream of consciousness. What have your experiences taught you?
V - Validated
What do you know is true for YOU? What values or ways of working have been validated over time? (This helps connect to your intrinsic motivation.)
What was 14 year old you doing for fun?
What are your natural gifts and talents?
O - Overcome
What challenges have you faced and overcome? What did you gain from those experiences?
What do people consistently come to you for?
What are your favorite moments at work, and why?
What Matters to You?
Values are what matter most to you. They’re the truths you live by - the things you care about and want to protect. Think of values as your internal compass.
Examples: Family, Growth, Integrity, Freedom, Beauty, Faith
To uncover your values:
What do I care deeply about—so much that I would fight to protect it?
What has felt missing or “off” in environments where I didn’t thrive?
When I feel most like myself, what am I prioritizing?
E - Emotions
What lights you up? What brings you joy, passion, or maybe anger or frustration? What do you care deeply about in your heart and soul?
Virtues are how you show up in the world. They’re the character traits you choose to embody. Think of virtues as your personal code of conduct—how your values come to life.
Examples: Kindness, Courage, Patience, Honesty, Wisdom, Grit
To uncover your virtues:
What traits do I admire most in others—and why?
When I feel proud of how I handled something, what quality was I showing?
What do people often thank me for or notice about how I show up?
✏️ Now put your words to it✏️
This isn’t about getting it “right.”
It’s about searching within—and putting words to what’s already been true for you all along.
This may feel unfamiliar or even challenging. That’s okay.
We’re shifting from trying to get the right answer to discovering what’s right for you.
Most of us were taught to seek external validation—get the good grade, meet the expectation, fit the mold.
This practice is about reconnecting with your intrinsic motivation—your own values and your own voice.
Trust that your words don’t have to be perfect.
They just have to be yours.
List 3–5 values that feel most true for you:
(You can use your own words or draw from examples like Family, Growth, Integrity, Freedom, Beauty, Faith.)
List 3–5 virtues you aspire to live by or already demonstrate regularly:
(Examples: Kindness, Courage, Patience, Honesty, Wisdom, Grit.)
Creating the Conditions to Thrive
There are two important factors for thriving, knowing your value, who you are and the conditions you live and work best in.
Answer honestly and intuitively—there’s no right or wrong here. Just insight.
Your Nervous System Knows
You are not a machine here to produce. You are a living, breathing, sensing human being.
Thriving begins by also understanding the environment that helps you feel calm, energized, and safe.
✏️ What have you noticed helps regulate your nervous system?
(Examples: quiet mornings, movement, boundaries, nature, spacious schedules)
People
The people you surround yourself with shape your energy and experience.
✏️ What kind of people do you love working with and being around?
✏️ What are the characteristics of people who help you feel at ease and empowered?
Leadership Style
How you're led impacts how you show up.
✏️ What type of leader brings out your best?
✏️ What communication style works well for you?
✏️ How much autonomy do you need to feel motivated and trusted?
Your Ideal Environment
This is where we get practical. What does your ideal environment look and feel like?
✏️ Office vs. remote: What’s your ideal balance?
✏️ Travel: How many days/month away from home feels energizing and safe?
✏️ Physical space: What do you prefer in terms of noise level, lighting, or natural surroundings?
✏️ Other preferences: Are there any unique conditions that help you thrive?
(Examples: flexible hours, quiet time blocks, creative freedom, structured collaboration)
Use these insights as a guide as you move forward. When you know your value and the environment that supports it, you can make better decisions, build stronger relationships, and create a life that helps you grow, prosper, and thrive.
Your Gifts in Action: A Life Story Interview
Early Memories Life Experiences Present Moments
In this coaching session, Rebecca will guide you through a reflective conversation spanning your life experiences—from early memories to present-day moments. Together, we'll uncover the patterns, gifts, talents, and abilities that consistently show up across seasons and situations.
You'll walk away with a clear inventory of your unique value—your personal assets. This isn't just about recognizing what you're good at; it's about naming what makes you you.
This clarity becomes your compass—helping you affirm your gifts as they show up, build confidence in your value, and intentionally put your strengths to work in ways that matter.
What you uncover in our session becomes your asset inventory—a tangible expression of your worth, your wisdom, and the value only you can offer. a minute to write an introduction that is short, sweet, and to the point.